Christen's village is farther out than the others, and my stomach was in knots by the time we pulled in. Would she be one of the children that ran to greet us as soon as we got out of the vans? Would she be waiting in the church? I knew one thing for certain - I wanted - scratch that - I NEEDED to make sure that Amy M. was with me today. I know myself pretty well, and when things get really emotional, I tend to be a crier. I knew Amy would get it. That's not to say that the others wouldn't have understood, but I just know Amy the best.
The church was made out of white bricks held together with a grey mud. We were warned that if we needed to use the restroom we had two choices - we could go to the building where they would have the dental and vision clinics, or we could use the stalls in the back of the church that were just holes dug in the ground. I chose to hold it.
I helped Amy set up the home visit groups until Brad decided to pull a Brad and tell us that if our group was ready, we needed to go. Our translator was Marro, and she and I had already had a couple of really great talks this week, so I felt very blessed with the pairings.
As we left the church, I said something along the lines of, "I hope I can shake some of these nerves before we get to Christen's house. I'll meet some families, say some prayers, and be a little bit more emotionally stable by the time we get to her place".
We crossed the street and Amy asked our guide whose house we would be visiting first. He glanced down at his list:
"Chisten H.F."
My heart dropped. I wasn't ready! She couldn't be first! I started wringing my hands together, and I could feel panic sweat start to bead up on my forehead. I needed to get the bag I was carrying situated so I didn't have to waste time digging for the gifts.
Then I slipped and sloshed mud all up on my Toms and the tops of both feet. Keeping it classy.
We turned into her "neighborhood", and her "house" was on the right. As we walked through the doorway, we faced a set of concrete stairs that were very steep and very narrow. And they went up four stories. As I rounded the first turn, I looked through a hole in the wall by the bottom of that particular landing and saw a cow chewing its cud in a dug out basement. Interesting. We kept turning and climbing until we were finally at the top. The stairs went directly up to their "apartment", and the mat held their shoes. I decided it would be best to go ahead and leave my muddy Toms there next to theirs. I wondered which ones were Christens as her mom came to the entryway and told me I didn't have to take my shoes off. I told her I didn't mind at all and that I didn't want to drag mud into her house. (The houses are tediously cleaned for our visits and I wanted to acknowledge and respect that.)
Then there was Christen.
She smiled at me shyly and reached out to shake my hand. Her mother tried to get her to hug me, but she wasn't having it. And I was okay with that.
She's SO TINY!! Her hair was done and she had an orange headband on which matched my orange shirt. We were twinkies!
But I was blocking the entryway, so I walked on in and sat on the bench that Marro directed us to. The room was wonderfully lit with natural lighting, and the walls were seafoam greens, blues, and white. The cool tile felt wonderful on my tired feet.
As I sat down and situated my bags, I turned to see Christen's twin brother George walking in the room. He was holding a large gold picture frame that was wrapped in Saran Wrap. He handed it to Christen, and as he did, it tilted a bit and I saw the picture I had sent of my dog, Pretty Girl, right square in the top middle of it.
I burst into tears.
In fact, I'm crying now just thinking about.
Christen proudly presented me with the frame, and what I saw next only made me cry harder. Next to Pretty Girl's picture was the one I had sent of myself, and every letter/drawing I had sent her.
It is such a humbling, incredible feeling. I mean, I know I'm awesome, but in all seriousness - in the big scheme of things, who am I? I'm just a person. And they have me framed on the wall with my dog like we're celebrities, or, even better, family.
Through my laughter and my tears, I decided to go ahead and hand out presents first. I knew that if I tried to talk or pray, I'd probably drown all of us in my tears.
I don't know that I have ever felt this kind of happiness before. It was exploding from my soul, and was the best high I've ever felt. It radiated out of me; the atmosphere was electric. They brought Christen over to me and I handed her a small back pack that had the Texas A&M University-Commerce name and logo on it, and explained that it was the bag I had carried at University with me up until graduation, and that I wanted her to have it as a reminder that girls can succeed in school too.
The princess keychain was to remind her that every little girl is a princess and should be treated as one. I reminded her that being a princess comes with the responsibility of taking care of others too, and helping her mother because mom is the queen. :) There was a keychain I had made myself, and I told her that I had a matching one on my keys back home. I pulled out my yellow TAMUC shirt and I told her that I wanted her to wear it and play in it, and get it dirty so she could make her own memories in it. I showed her the water bottle that had the tooth brush, tooth paste, and floss picks in it as well as the pink pair of scissors and crayons for school. I finished by telling her that there were a few other goodies for her, but I would let her open it later when things had calmed down a little bit.
Her smile was so genuine, and her eyes sparkled as she looked at the bag and me and her mother. Her mother had teared up when I told her about the bag and the tshirt. There's really no way to describe the love that was blanketing the room.
Then I busted out the bags for George and their little brother Abanub. Their eyes got SO BIG when Marro told them that the bags were for them. They had the toothbrushes plus a water bottle for George, and glow sticks for both. I had some extra ones, so I showed them how they worked, and told them that it was best to use them at night, but that if they lit them earlier, it was okay because they would stay lit for awhile. Little Abanub found the toy car in the bottom and was entranced with it the rest of the time.
We talked about how things were going, and what we could pray for. Their mother gets really bad headaches and nosebleeds (probably from the heat), so if you're the praying type and could add her to your list, it would mean the world to me.
When I asked what we could give thanks for, her mother said, "For you. For all you do for us and for coming to see us."
Cue more tears.
I prayed for the family, and when I finished, her mother looked at me with tears in her eyes, and said, "That was a beautiful prayer. You are very good at praying".
I looked at her and said, "It's easy to talk to God when you feel so much emotion. When you realize that you've been waiting your entire life for this very day". And I truly meant that. It was my purpose. This was my extended family, and finding them was the most incredible thing in the world.
Before we left, Christen sang me a song she had learned at AWANA, and I was able to record it. It was a beautiful experience. I told them that if I had room in my bags, I would take them all home with me. The guide asked if he could go too.
As we said our goodbyes, and I walked down the stairs, I started crying again. I turned to Amy and said, "How do you leave? How do you walk away from these people that have just entirely changed your life?" She smiled. I knew there was no answer. You just do. As much as it hurts, it is necessary because there are other kids that have been waiting all year for these visits.
I met so many wonderful children and families. I got to meet a beautiful little girl that is sponsored by Amy's sister. They had a picture of her and her husband on the wall, and Amy started crying when she saw it.
It was an emotional day. A wonderful day. The most incredible day.
We ran into Christen, her mom, and a few other little girls as we were walking back to the church. They were on their way to the dental clinic so Christen could get some teeth pulled. Her mom had pulled the teeth herself, but the roots remained stuck down in the gums. I asked if I could go with them to the clinic, and Marro agreed to go with me while the guide took Amy back to the church.
One of Christen's friends looked at Christen and then held out her hand and nodded at me. And Christen reached up and took my hand.
I cannot explain to you how great her tiny little hand felt in mine. She was beginning to trust me, and she smiled while we held hands and danced as Marro called to let Ehab know what we were doing. Then she started frowning. She was speaking in Arabic, but I knew something was off. Sure enough, she was told that something had happened and we were to go immediately to the church. I kneeled down and told Christen that I was very proud of her for going to the dentist to get her teeth fixed. I warned her that it would probably hurt, but to be strong and brave even if she was afraid because it would be so good for her as she got older. She smiled, and even hugged me goodbye as did her mother.
Even though I wasn't sure what was going on, I felt incredibly blessed to have gotten to see Christen twice in one day.
When we got to the church, Amy and our guide were coming out, and told us that they had been told to head TO the clinic. When we got there, the door was shut and locked, but after a few good knocks, we pushed in past the group of people lined up outside. I couldn't find Christen outside, so I hoped she was inside so she could get her teeth looked at.
As soon as we walked in, Brennan looked at us and said, "Americans in the vision room! Now!" They were frantically closing down Gloria's dentist station, and there was an odd feelinging in the air. It added to the heaviness in the room already soaked in humidity and a child was screaming in the back of the room. We couldn't see them because they were around a corner. I went into the room, and not even two minutes later Marro came to tell me that the screamer was Christen, and did I want to go be with her. OF COURSE I did. As I rounded the corner, Brad said to freeze as he counted American heads. As soon as he was done, I continued around the corner. Brennen tried to tell me to back into the room, but I looked him straight in the eye and said, "La! No!" and went to find Christen, covered in sweat, screaming her lungs out, pressed against her mother who was trying to hold her still as one of the dentists tried to dig the root of her tooth out. It didn't seem like the numbing medicine had had enough time to work. I learned later from my mom that it is incredibly difficult to numb the area around a root that has rotted because the infection messes it up. Oy. So I did what I had to do. I walked over, grabbed her flailing hand, squeezed it down by her lap, and used my other arm to restrain her legs. She's a squirmy little thing.
It was probably only 7 minutes until another dentist came over, gave her more numbing medicine (we had to hold her still while a large needle was in her gums), and found the right size instrument to extract the remainder of the tooth, but it felt like an eternity. I prayed the entire time - for strength for her and her mother, and for understanding for Christen so that she hopefully wouldn't hate me for helping. I got to hold her in my lap for a few seconds afterwards, but she freaked out because she thought it meant she had to go again, so I handed her to her mother, and got a hug from them both. I think I even saw a tiny smile escape from her swollen face.
As it turns out, there had been a bit of a bum-rush on the clinics from over eager village members, so for the safety of everyone there, the higher ups decided it would be best if we went ahead and packed up a little early.
The entire ride back to the hotel I had the biggest smile on my face. I had to apologize to Brad later because initally, I had been very bitter about him choosing to go the villages instead of camp...but now...I get it. I can't imagine coming back to Egypt and not going to see my family. It brings them so much joy, and it brings just as much joy to me. I've never felt this way before.
Go to transformegypt.com and click on GIVE. Then click on SPONSOR A CHILD. You will see a list of all the kids that need to be sponsored. It's $30 a month, and it's legitimate.
Not to mention that it will change your life.
Much love,
*L*
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